Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Naughty fun at the Living Theatre

We'll post audio/video soonly, but in the meantime, here's the lineup that brought down the house last night.

You may notice some reprised bits. You may also notice some subtle tweaks and variations. That's called organic development of material. It's cool. We invite the vast readership to chime in with some original work, building on some of our themes or branching out in a whole new direction. Let the muse guide your thoughts! Let love rule!


Erotic haiku
More than verbing hot, wet nouns
It takes stamina

[[Our story tonight, told in a series of haiku, involves a sexy young writer and an awkward-but-endearing history buff, who meet somewhere in New York…]]

Dressing for the kill
Cinching the uniform tight
Look at my cleavage

Was your dad a thief?
What I’m really saying is,
I like your boobies!!

Let's go to my place
Let me underwhelm you there
Let me let you down

Turned on by his snark
His self-effacing wit
She gives him a go

Serious tweaking
Don’t you love double meanings?
Mark up my pages

Quit flailing away
Open up my bag of tricks
And choose your weapon

Flogs & clamps & whips
What will feel best on my skin?
Really, it’s your hand

But wait! He's a switch!
He assumes the position
She grins wickedly

She reddens his cheeks
Smack after glorious smack
Yelping, echoing

[[And how about a little role play?]]

Push me, push me down
Take me under wooden desk
Let me earn my pay

Thanks, pizza boy
I seem to be out of cash
do you accept ass?

Captain Queef, hero
Thrusting mightily until
air escapes, wetly

She knows what he wants
Why always with the shaft?
Balls for a moment!

You don't want to fuck?
What if I just hump your leg?
Would that be okay?

Over or under
This is not The Price is Right
Quick, let’s do this thing

Oh my God, oh no
The grinch stole my orgasm
Oh wait, there it is. . .

Sated for a while,
They light up a thick doobie,
He pontificates:

Europe has always been
Less prudish, more decadent
Than we puritans

In fact, most of the
implements enjoyed today
were introduced there

Throughout history
Intimate discoveries
Thrilled the continent

For Roman women
Emperor Cunningulus
First put tongue to twat

Most credit the Jews,
But ancient Circumcismos
Of Greece, First. Cut. His.

Mademoiselle Floggeh
was the first to redefine
the term 'whipping boy'

Straypon and Cochring
purveyors of fine sex toys
often mispronounced

Fluffer's elixir
Setting the quim a-quiver
Since 1820

The annals of sex
Would not be complete without
Sister Mary Brown

Bent over her bed
Fingering her rosary
Pushing sacred beads

Into that profane
place that dare not speak its name
pulling out slowly

Grooming the nethers
Started back in the 80s
The 1880s

Lady Elizabeth Landing
Charmed her persnickety mate
With a well-groomed strip

Two German chemists
Kroener and Yungenheim launched
The K-Y Empire

French Norwegian
Astrid Glidet soon slid down
Their slippery slope

Before Las Vegas
The Hotel Fell-ah-shio
is where men would go

Ladies took members
in their mouths and suckled til
fountains erupted

John Pluug's Candleworks,
Where a randy apprentice
Molded some hot wax

Tapered head, flared base
The model of safe butt play
To this very day

Believe it or not,
Poet Joseph Limerick
Was from nantucket!

[[In his memory, a limerick: ]]

There was once a fine lass named LYNette
who was known far and wide as a STRUMPet
she had a fine ass
and plenty of sass
and ‘twixt her wee legs, a vagINette

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